No, I couldn’t imagine living a life with so much to hate. I’d rather die with my dreams than live with stains. Since I was born a lotus and named after lotus, I should live like a lotus rooted in the mud but clean.
Therefore, in the end, I had to escape. Without a good excuse to leave, I returned to finish another school term to complete the perfect year of my teaching career.
* * * * *
No surprise, father called my escape a stupid act and me a special idiot. His anger had the force of a landslide; the beauty of the image was muddy violence. Each time we talked, he would shout at me. But his blackness was never extinguished nor even diminished. During the period of time between my internship and my escape, he had the highest hopes for me. It was only then he could talk to me often in a happy way.